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To see or dream that you are a soldier signifies discipline, structure, rigidity and your staunch attitude. You are imposing your opinions and feelings on others. Alternatively, a soldier means that you are preparing yourself to do battle over an issue. You feel the need to defend your beliefs, values and opinions.
To dream that you are an ex-soldier represents your ability to yield in your decisions and your way of thinking. You need to change your approach toward your goal.